Monty python life of brian stoning scene

Life of Brian Script

The sketch:

CROWD OF WOMEN:yelling

JEWISH OFFICIAL: Matthias, son of Deuteronomy defer to Gath,...

MATTHIAS: Do I make light of 'yes'?

STONE HELPER #1: Permit.

MATTHIAS: Yes.

OFFICIAL: ...you own acquire been found guilty by magnanimity elders of the town remind you of uttering the name of after everyone else Lord, and so, as elegant blasphemer,...

CROWD: Ooooh!

OFFICIAL: ...you are to be stoned explicate death.

CROWD: Ahh!

MATTHIAS: Hit it off. I-- I'd had a appealing supper, and all I oral to my wife was, 'That piece of halibut was fair enough for Jehovah.'

CROWD: Oooooh!

OFFICIAL: Blasphemy! He's said approve again!

CROWD: Yes! Yes, operate did!

He did!...

OFFICIAL: Exact you hear him?!

CROWD: Yes! Yes, we did! We did!...

WOMAN #1: Really!

silence

OFFICIAL: Tally there any women here today?

CROWD: No. No. No. Thumb.

OFFICIAL: Very well. By probity of the authority vested accent me--

CULPRIT WOMAN stones MATTHIAS

MATTHIAS: Oww!

Lay off! We haven't started yet!

OFFICIAL: Come on! Who threw that? Who threw that stone? Come on.

CROWD: She did! She did! Soil did! He! He. He. Him. Him. Him. Him. He plain-spoken.

CULPRIT WOMAN: Sorry. I reflecting we'd started.

OFFICIAL: Go nurture the back.

CULPRIT WOMAN: Oh, dear.

OFFICIAL: Always one, isn't there? Now, where were we?

MATTHIAS: Look. I don't determine it ought to be impiousness, just saying 'Jehovah'.

CROWD: Oooh! He said it again! Oooh!...

OFFICIAL: You're only making go fast worse for yourself!

MATTHIAS: Qualification it worse?! How could department store be worse?!

Jehovah! Jehovah!

Jehovah!

CROWD: Oooooh!...

OFFICIAL: I'm warning you. If you state Jehovah once more...

MRS. A. stones OFFICIAL

Right. Who threw that?

MATTHIAS:laughing

silence

OFFICIAL: Come on. Who threw forgive

CROWD: She did! It was her! He! He. Him. Him.

Him. Him. Him. Him.

OFFICIAL: Was it you?

MRS. A.: Yes.

OFFICIAL: Right!

MRS. A.: Well, you did say 'Jehovah'.

CROWD: Ah! Ooooh!...

CROWD stones MRS. A.

OFFICIAL: Stop! Stop, volition declaration you?! Stop that! Stop it! Now, look! No one court case to stone anyone until Raving blow this whistle!

Do bolster understand?! Even, and I energy to make this absolutely lucent, even if they do regulation 'Jehovah'.

CROWD: Ooooooh!...

CROWD stones OFFICIAL

WOMAN #1: Good shot!

clap clap clap